ONE NEW MESSAGE : 2 : 14 AM ‘- mabel ? mabel , hey , i’m - ’m kinda glad ya … g - glad y’didn’t pick up … heh … um . fuck , i - i messed up , uh , kinda . listen , ‘m not - not the superhero y’want me t’be . i can’t - can’t really save anyone , not like … like … GOD , i just hurt people , y’know?BAD NEWS , or whatever . i just can’t … shit , i don’t have much ti - y’need ta - heh- YOU need to forget about me , kid . AH- ‘m not comin’ back , this time - but i stopped it , heh , okay ? everythin’ is gonna … gonna be okay , an’ you’re gonna be better off 'thout me . fuck , i gotta - gotta go , b - but … y - you’re gonna be the best , a’righ’ ? i - i can tell . go out an’ be who y’are , ‘cause i know ya - you got it in you . heh , you’re gonna save the world , kid . i - i know it . gotta - i gotta go now , a’righ’ ? the phone’s doin’ … doin’ the BEEPY thing an’ i can’t - ‘m sor - ’ MESSAGE ENDED . PRESS ONE TO REPEAT , TWO TO DELETE , FIVE - FIVE TO CALL BACK . PRESS SEVEN TO SAVE MESSAGE . / @keptstarsfinal voicemail
❛ as far as you know ! ❜ something lurks deeper ’thin these waters , shooting star ! something darker waits on the edge : go on , look closer ! see how image distorts with every word ? notice how fingertips clench themselves placid every step you take , every laugh that makes itself known ? the warning signs are there : take VIGILANCE , dear heart ! this world was only meant for the survivors , & so survivor she shall be should you PUSH HER far enough . take a step back , proceed with caution : these are the omen’s the universe bestows& still you will not listen. pause , yes , but only enough so that hand may extend, so that head may tilt in SYMPATHY : this world may have turned hard , but you , shooting star , have left room for TENDERNESS despite it . (tell me of how , & love too , will be your DOWNFALL . ) ❛k — kate ? are you . . . okay ? i was just joking , you know ! i — um , i can be supergirl ! if you want .you can just be regular ol’ kate! nobiggie . ❜
‘REGULAR ? ’m not … ’
you are the murky skies on a clouded night , abstract incarnate ; the stars cannot shine so brightly when you are present , for you are no more than the HATRED that made you . oh , have you so little hope that you will DROWN pure optimism , murder DREAM - LIKE INNOCENCE just to keep yourself GROUNDED ? pitiful as you are , you must take your POWERS in hand , look upon the young girl ( look ‘pon the child you never got to be , watch her STARTLE && FRIGHT , watch yourself shatter a fractured psyche into smaller pieces than previously thought possible - YOU ALREADY TOWER , staring from almost a foot above , THE POWER OF THE GODS IN YOUR SKINNYPALMS ; your sins , your INDECENCIES- unforgivable ) . oh , dear ; you , clouded starry sky ; you , broken bones in a scar - addled body ; can you truly believe you’re ANY MORE than what your father told you ? the world has bestowed upon you a CURSE , no more - your sharpened edges cut the soft skin of anyone who comes near . hidden as you are , you are still CHOKED by starlight .
‘- would ya believe me if i said y’were still dreamin’ ?’
❛ says you ! i could totally be supergirl ! i don’t tell you everything , you know !❜ dreamer , look to the sky ! look to where you come from , look to where you shall return , & watch how your brethren ( the stars! ) swarm above you . dear heart , this mortal earth may be your home but you long for the stars ! ( see how they shine for you ? they wish you to come back to your place of true beginnings ! ) look to the sky : this is what grounds you . the end times are nigh , dear heart , but still you are tender! still you fall to your knees , sing your prayers & bare your heart of hearts to the UNIVERSE , to where you know forgiveness will come when this world has been renewed . ❛& i REPEAT : says you ! don’t get me wrong, kate , you’re strong as heck ! buttttt you’re also thin as heck ! weird combo , if you ask me , but i guess that all goes back to the SUPERGIRL theory !❜
BITE YOUR TONGUE , CLENCH YOUR FISTS- your secrets are hidden for GOOD REASON , dear , for they should threaten to be your undoing; look to the STARS , look through the canopies just as your friend will , wish to be AMONGST THE BRIGHT LIGHTS ( wish that you had kinder stories to tell , that you were not born of TRAGEDY IN ALL HER FORMS; your mother never loved you , your father’s hands still GHOST upon your legs when you try to sleep - knives BLEED YOU OUT every time you BREATHE ! ) . you were BROKEN before the world was , RUGGED before the world’s edges became the same - you were NO MORE THAN A GIRL when the old world took your heart from you , left your ribcage SHATTERED , left YOU coughing up blood ; take your severed veins , watch the POISON flow - dear girl , your lips are sealed , but your face is BLURRED , taking solace in DISTORTION ( you are IN DANGER , && your feet have sunken themselves into the sand ; you will never reach the stars ) .
❛ that’s just what i want you to think ! ❜ childish laughter in wake of the dead : you remain tender at chance of redemption . let shoulders shake ( see how the earth trembles under your light? this is because you are heaven born , dear heart ! you laugh & the UNIVERSE bows to you ! ) , let eyes once more become bright despite this world , & hold tight to the flame that encases you ; shooting star , this world may have scooped up everything holy & the dead may once more reign free , but you gather your heart & laugh bright & wild & sing your mantras of becoming all the same . ( call to the wind , wild & free : this is not the end!this is not the end ! )❛ those’re always the ones you gotta look out for ! ’cause we look all tiny & unassuming &INNOCENT, but that’s when we’ll GET YA! i mean , look at SUPERGIRL ! she’s HECKA strong but everyone thinks she’s all innocent& junk ! at least , that’s what dipper says . ❜
‘WELL , dipper sounds smart - but i’m NOT supergirl . an’ nor are you , kid . ’
the twinges of panic in the back of your mind - you are SUPER , but you did not ask for this ; the iron - clad bone , the myriad difference between you && the rest of this godforsaken planet - you did not want to live like this , to feel your blood grow cold && flow slow , to watch your fingers commit UNSPEAKABLE ACTS with the slightest touch . the dead roam around you , && you feel more at one with them than you do to the child whose body has only just regained conscience - YOU ARE CLOSER TO THE GRAVE THAN YOU SEEM // YOU ARE CLOSER TO LIFE THAN YOU BELIEVE . a beat passes , reaching to pick the dead leaves from the girl’s hair , hands more scar than skin trying their BEST to be delicate , though lack of sensation ruins everything . you could be a GOD , if the whim so took you ( you are not supergirl , but you COULD BE ) .
❛ i wasn’t nappin’ . ❜ eyes droop / words slurs : the universe betrays you in the smallest of ways . smile , stretch your arms over your head , stifle a yawn & acknowledge the UNIVERSE; sun halts in its trek across the galaxy& lets the MOON take its place . ❛ can’t a girl rest her eyes without being ACCUSED ’f stuff ?YEESH! im pretty impressed you managed to carry me though !most people aren’t STRONG ENOUGH to do that ! ❜
‘BUDDY , you were . hate t’break it t’ya , kid . ’
LAUGH , take your affection from your heart && bundle it in your arms , hold it close like a child who needs the WARMTH you cannot give . you have carried the world upon your shoulders - carrying an adolescent body across the forest was akin to THE EARTH lifting a TREE BRANCH . YOU ARE THE EARTH , && SHE THE STARS- you revolve , your veins the rivers that run through the lands of the fingers that you stare down at . they tell you to look at the stars is to go blind .
‘ what can i say ? i’m stronger than most people . don’t look it , i know . ’
❛ oh ! um — no thank you ? i went earlier& don’t really have the PEE URGES right now , so . . . ❜ pain know these veins well & you are not unfamiliar with the concept of DEATH& still you exude LIGHT . sing your prayers to the moon each night , on your knees & clutching your heart , & in the morning wake with a RENEWED HOPE : holiness pours from you in form of OPTIMISM, in form of something that does not FEARthe walking dead, & so other approaches you ( take note of the light contained behind dark eyes ) & you let yourself be bright once more . ( dreamer , you are not a ruler but the dead crumble beneath the weight of your light & pray for your forgiveness anyway . )❛ i’m glad you’re so CONCERNED, though ! you don’t really find that in people these days . ❜
‘ oh , you’re funny as SHIT , kid !’
you laugh , && it tastes bitter like the blood you have tasted more often than not . your heart has been trained to never know the difference between FRIEND && FOE , to sit beating in your chest , to threaten to break your ribs in the hopes of taking yourself hostage . you have always remained so SILENT in your hell - but this isn’t just yours ;THIS IS EVERYONE ’ S . the gun is pulled from your waistband , set to AIM at the end of your steady arm at the child who stands before you - this world drives people to insanity , societal normality PAST ITS KNEES&&THROUGH THE GROUND( cry , HOWL to the moon , for you have become THE WOLF , && shed the SHEEP ’ S CLOTHING you have spent so long knitting to cover your bones ) . you are shrouded in darkness ; you have no time to be blinded by the light .
‘ my point IS- what the FUCK you doin’ standin’ next to my HOUSE ?’
it’s DARK ; must be the middle of the night by now , && the forest is QUIET . the dead have dispersed to lights && sounds further away , found better options than her own TINY CAMP in the centre of an otherwise abandoned forest . she does not need LIGHTS to find her own temporary home - hypersensitive eyesight mixing with PURE INSTINCT guide her , && as it comes into view -
OH , FUCK . there’s an unrecognised shadow . SMALL , ADOLESCENT . oh , fuck . there’s a kid standing next to her tent - no SNARLING // DROOLING , gotta be human . fuck , what’s she DOING out here ? moving closer , ghost - like , every movement CALCULATED- she keeps her distance , knife UNSHEATHED && CONCEALED behind her back .
‘ uh … KID ? you wanna … piss off maybe ?’ / @keptstarsx
heyo! my name's spencer! i'm 17 & from england. i go to college & i have a part time job, so please be patient with me! i also have a few mental health issues, but i'm trying my hardest! my inbox & ims are always open to anyone, whether it's to plot, ask questions, or just to chat! if you ever need to talk to someone, hit me up! i'm always here to help!
rules : personal
O N E -- no drama or hate, and no vagueblogging. i have severe anxiety and a delusional disorder, and i will unfollow you without warning if you vagueblog, even if it’s not about me (i may think it is). T W O -- please tag your triggers. this is quite a triggering blog, and i will tag accordingly with ’trigger //’ (tell me if i don’t tag something & i’ll fix it), and i’d be extremely thankful if you did the same! my specific triggers are: abuse, food, eating disorders, self harm, jump scares, ableism, and suicide. T H R E E -- if you have a problem with me, please tell me outright. it’d ease my mind massively & help me improve myself! i’m autistic & i struggle with intentions, implications, and tones of speech. i might mess up! i’m human! but i want to fix my mistakes. F O U R -- feel free to ask questions about me or my muse. i love to have the opportunity to inform & explain, and even to build more upon my character!
rules : roleplay
O N E -- please tag your nsfw. i don't roleplay it myself, & i don't particularly want it coming up on my dash. however, i'm not removing the possibility of kate having sex within relationships, and i don't want to limit ships because of this - i'm okay with fade to black/time jumps. T W O -- no godmodding. this includes playing my muse for me, or badly hurting or killing my muse without my permission. T H R E E -- kate’s timeline is very flexible. i can adapt it to most fandoms without the need for aus, as long as they're modern-ish (within about 30 years of the current year). F O U R -- this is a multifandom blog. i'm familiar with a lot of fandoms, and i'm more likely to follow/interact you if i'm familiar with your character's fandom & backstory. F I V E -- mun =/= muse. kate may do/say things that can be considered morally questionable/wrong. i, in no way, condone these acts. S I X -- memes, opens, and starter calls are open to anyone unless specified. i reserve the right not to reply if for any reason i do not want to. S E V E N -- i am so up for pre-established relationships. seriously. come @ me bro.
kate’s nomadic , travelling from place to place , mindlessly searching. she picks up girls in bars , drinks her pain away , laughs & shouts. under all of that ? she’s deeply depressed , traumatised. yeah , maybe she’s scared of getting close to people - SO WHAT ?
the scientist drew her in , tore her apart && put her back together in the wrong order. call it stockholm syndrome , call it trauma - he became her father. he trained her , extensively , turned her into a killer for his twisted cause , & died. & she misses him. kate’s a murderer , plain & simple - she goes from place to place to place to find people. somehow , it’s not her. it’s a hollow person , a vessel for his memory , a shell of a being. SHE DIED IN THAT LAB.
kate’s still in catholic high school , still being abused by her father , still using the excuse of boxing to get away with bruises & broken bones , still attempting to keep away from people who might suspect something. they all think she’s cool , because she’s always beat up & always swears & doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks - she gets invited to parties ; she drinks & smokes & takes whatever people give her , stumbles home in the hopes that her father is already asleep. SUICIDALLY RECKLESS TEEN.
the night dylan’s parents kicked him out , & kate’s parents found out she was gay , her father got a job in america. he says it was a coincidence , but kate knows it wasn’t. the whole family move to america , & they shove her into a school there - say this is a new start ! that they can start over ! as if the move would cure her. but her father is , if anything , worse than he was back home. they’re not close to anyone in the u.s. , no one’s checking up - he’s free to hurt her however he wants , almost without question. & she’s TRAPPED UNDER HIS THUMB.